Gender, oh Gender: Darious, 16, Palestine

Gender, oh Gender” – A Monologue
Darious, 16, Palestine

Gender, oh gender
the burden of gender
the dichotomy
the binary
the way you’re oversimplified
and then turned into shackles
the shackles that bind me.

Gender, oh gender
I don’t fit your roles or your norms
so you cut my wings
break my legs
and shut my mouth closed.

Gender, oh gender
the grief that you’ve caused me
turning my body into public property
my clothing into an issue
and my feelings into a debate.

Gender, oh gender
like an animal at the zoo
people turn their heads
point their fingers
their stares piercing through me like a knife
and then the chuckles and the questions
hunting me down, police investigation
the gender police
my expression a crime.

Gender, oh gender
bro, man, dude, boy, guy
he, it and they pronouns
“but biologically, you’re a man”
“you’re just young and confused”
“a rebel without cause”.

Gender, oh gender
visiting the restroom a dilemma
looking in the mirror or showering a tragedy
walking down the street a risk
and speaking out? Deadly.

Gender, oh gender
are you worth all the scars & tears?
Maybe it is monstrous not to fit into your neat notions?
Is it society’s fault or mine?
Is it a world with acceptance I seek, or is it a world free of you?

Frustrated, sick, tired and broken
so many questions unanswered
all hope escaped from my grasp
no more principles, no more values
I’m barely standing on my feet
I’m crashing, I’m falling
I want to give up
My arms raised, my knees buckled
but I’m breathing. I’m alive.

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